new priorities(?)

Now I'm writing from the computer.  Wow, so much more pressure to write something valuable.  Anyhow, I'm procrastinating slightly.  I have to play a program on Wednesday that would not give a normal violinist much pause at all, let alone anxiety.  YET...for me it fills me with a bit of fear.  Who knows--I might have a day where I lose my intonation completely.  It could happen.  But basically it is not a very varied or challenging program.  Not in program order: Handel D major sonata (first two movements); Mozart e-minor sonata (yeah, the sightreadable one); Elgar Salut d'Amour; Rachmananinoff Vocalise; Thais Meditation; Kreisler Praeludium and Allegro;  Fantasia on Greensleeves; and two Broadway tunes -- My Funny Valentine and Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.  You see what I mean, though?  You need some X-factor to play these, and I'm hoping just to play with some vibrato.  Really.  I'm being honest.  It's for a retirement community, so it's not like crazy critique that I fear;  I just want to play well.  Of course.  I want to have a positive experience.  Oh yeah, and the audience too--I don't want them to be bored and applaud only charitably.

In another vein, which allows me to procrastinate endlessly, I only care about Aggie and love and "big" things in my life -- violin has been relegated down a few notches.  However, I know that on the day of the event, and possibly the day before, I'll wish I had practiced my socks off and my fingers are in good shape.  So I'm doing this practicing (this imminent practicing for a few good hours) for the Lisa of Tuesday and Wednesday.  (The concert is on Wednesday.)  This is my foray back to playing standing up, by the way.  Haven't done it in something like four years.  So my anxiety is understandable, doncha think?